Mountain Dew Game Fuel

No doubt trying to tap into the waning physicality of Extreme Games, Mountain Dew has released a new Limited Edition batch of caffeinated soda called Game Fuel. The bottle art advertises Halo 3, and the toxic Mars red color goes well with any modded-out PC case. The drink bills itself as “An Invigorating Blast of Citrus Cherry Flavor. With other natural flavors.” At first I thought, “Ah, rebranded Code Red.” As the drink itself is pretty close to said Cherry-Flavored Dew in color. I was way off the mark. The taste is truly unique… like tropical punch with Smarties ground up in it. I can kind of taste the Cherry and kind of taste the citrus, but believe me when I say this: No flavor like this occurs in nature.

As I continued to drink it, I couldn’t shake the feeling that Game Fuel tasted like it should be chalky in texture, because it sure was in taste. I passed the bottle over to Jenny to get her opinion, and after taking a sip and grimacing, she announced, “It tastes like Christmas Trees!” I can’t disagree; there is a certain piney aftertaste.

So I end this review with a plaintive plea to Mountain Dew: We like you just the way you are. If you feel the need to put something in your bottles aside from the nuclear yellow-green rocket fuel that keeps both Connoisseur and geek going strong so many nights, then bring back Pitch Black with its lovely pseudo-grape flavor with a refreshing sour kick. Now that was meddling with nature that anyone could enjoy.