Jones Limited Edition Spellcasting Soda

I understand paying for a gimmick, but this pack is available only online and, even though it does ship with a collectable Dungeons and Dragon Miniature (a Drow Assassin for the curious),

the price of admission, $11 for a six-pack or $19 for a twelve-pack, is just not worth it for what are essentially relabeled standard Jones Soda. That said, I could not resist placating my inner nerd and I purchased the twelve-pack. At nearly $16 in shipping, this was turning out to be a costly impulse buy that I would have to wait 2 weeks for. When they finally did arrive, I unboxed them and put them in the fridge. To their credit, Jones Soda does a fantastic job insuring the protection of their product in transit. Once the sodas were chilled to my liking, I began the process of reviewing.

Sneak attack

My god this is sweet! Sneak Attack is a clear cream soda and it tastes like toasted marshmallows. It is very tasty but I'm afraid what kind of damage it did backstabbing my teeth.

Bigby's Irresistible Thirst Crusher

Bigby's is a rich, mahogany, slightly spicy cola with a touch of cinnamon and sarsaparilla. It is a good, solid cola, not cheap tasting like an RC cola. I would give this soda a +1 vs. thirst.

Eldritch Blast

Eldritch Blast is a toxic-waste-hued green apple. The flavor is not a sour green apple, which surprised me, and it’s not too strong either. I'd say this soda is Neutral, but perhaps due to my predilection for sour green apple, I'm being unfair... Neutral-Good is more like it.

Illithid Brain Juice

Illithid Brain Juice is a light purple grape soda. It smells terrific! The scent is something along the line of a mouthwatering grape bubblegum. This is one of the best grape soda's I've had with the possible exception of Schweppes Dry Grape Ginger Ale. It has just the right amount of sweetness and depth of flavor, with a hint of lavender. I'd call Illithid Brain Juice a critical hit.

Dwarven Draught

Dwarven Draught is a dark brown root beer. Jones's always has made a passable root beer, more complex than an A&W, Hires, or Mug, but about on par with Barq's. I mean it’s not taking any risks, and there aren't any exotic proficiencies needed to enjoy it, but I have racked up plenty of experience points drinking this root beer over the years.

Potion of Healing

Potion of Healing is a wine-red sugar-free black cherry soda. You heard me right; sugar-free... sucralose... my favored enemy. It has a mild, inoffensive, black cherry flavor with the bitter chemical background of artificial sweetener. Why they would sneak in a sugar-free soda into a selection intended for role-playing nerds is beyond me. I had to make a saving throw vs. poison just to recap the bottle for my girlfriend to drink.