The Connoisseurs

Elevensies: An Adventure in Beer

Sometimes, when The Connoisseurs gather for a beer tasting, it is little more than an excuse to hang out and drink a lot. This “tasting” of eleven beers was one such gathering. We opted to turn on the Rockband, sing our voices hoarse, and cast our harsh judgments on eleven different beers out of classy red Dixie cups.

Let this tasting be a lesson to all beer enthusiasts. You can still be critical of what you drink, even if the drink is not the center of attention. The beer still must pass over the taste buds. Let us not punish our mouths with cheap and tasteless ales when there is so much more to choose from. ALRIGHT, JON…ENOUGH PREACHING! On to the beers…

1. The Tanner’s Jack

This beer was a product of England, from the makers of Old Speckled Hen (Morland). The name comes from a delightful story on the bottle about leather flasks (jacks) used to drink beer from in the old days. It came in a clear glass bottle and boasted a practically fluorescent orange color and a 4.4% ABV. The foam was a light tan colour, noting the English “u” in the word color, and the liquid thick and deliberate. Unfortunately, I think we got our hands on skunked beer. Please, all beer makers, stop using the clear glass bottle. So many batches skunk on the shelf, especially imports that have a longer journey, due to light exposure through the clear glass. Through the skunked overtones, we did detect lemon/citrus notes accompanying a smooth, light, and drinkable body. If not for the presence of the skunk, this beer would have been just fine.

2. Samuel Adams Summer Ale

We brought out the Sam Summer, and Connoisseur Tom declared it a perennial favorite. Beneath its sudsy, off-white head, we discovered the refreshing blend of tangy citrus, wheat malt, grains of paradise, and a soft summer breeze. This beer definitely defines the summer flavor, with tangy refreshment that cuts through those hot and humid summer afternoons. Its bready aftertaste was also welcome, and though we all prefer it from the tap, it was welcomed to the party with open arms. On a side note, we all decided that Connoisseur Tom was drunk after this sip of beer.

3. Samuel Smith Old Brewery Tadcaster

Hailing from Yorkshire’s oldest brewery, Samuel Smith has a reputation for excellent imports. The first thing we noticed is that it smelled awesome, with smoky hints and dark malty undertones. The flavors varied with the temperature. It started off cold, and flavors of coffee and dark cocoa/mocha prevailed. As the beer came to temperature the flavors were overcome by sweet bootstrap molasses and soy sauce. The Connoisseurs recommend drinking this offering cold, as the warmer soy flavors were not as pleasing as the earlier flavors.

After these three beers, we took a food/Rockband break, and then got back to it, cracking open the Flying Dog Mixed Pack. We have all tried some of these on our own, but with this full mixed pack from Denver, Colorado in front of us, we went to town.

4. Flying Dog Doggie-Style Pale Ale

Jen noticed when we took the bottles out of the box that the art on the labels was by Ralph Stedman, and his art is very interesting. It is good to have something to look at as you drink. This pale ale was not all that pale, with darker amber hues than most pales. This ale had a light tan head, 5.5% ABV, and smelled fresh and hoppy. When we tasted it, we though it was much hoppier than standard Pale Ales, in the style of an IPA. We were going to taste Flying Dog’s IPA next, so this level of hopping was surprising for the standard pale ale. The were flavors of pine, and big tangy grapefruits up front, and then the beer finished with a 2^nd hit of bitter hops on the finish. This was a rather balanced beverage, and we all thought it was well done, though miscategorized.

5. Flying Dog Snake Dog India Pale Ale

The IPA from Flying Dog was a point of contention among the tasters. It has an expected hoppy nose and a 7.1% ABV. Jenny though it smelled like piss, and Tom thought it lacked definable characteristics, while my older brother and myself savored the bitter-sweet hop flavors. While it was certainly a hop explosion, it was not repulsive or undrinkable. Tom may be right about a bit of an unfocused flavor profile, but I still liked this beer. We all did prefer the standard pale ale, however.

6. Flying Dog Road Dog Porter

Flying Dog’s Porter offering was up, and the label spoke of the court battle to write “Good beer, no shit” on the label. Big props to the manufacturer for fighting to display free speech. Unfortunately, it was wasted on the beer. This porter was 6% ABV, did not have much of a definable nose, and tasted much lighter than expected. It had a light body with very little hop flavor, and a light cola flavor. This could probably be a session porter, as nothing really overwhelmed the senses, but why bother? I would rather have a flavorful beverage. Tom declared that this was “not my favorite porter.”

7. Flying Dog In Heat Wheat Hefeweitzen

This wheat beer was really standard, and not outstanding. The bottle threatened your life if you added a lemon wedge, and we all heartily agree that if a beer needs fruit added, there is something wrong with the beer. This was a sweet beer and tasted like a Belgian beer, but without the standard overpowering clove flavors of most Belgians. It had a dark golden hue with bready flavors and some spice. It was not very memorable.

8. Flying Dog Tire Bite Golden Ale

The first thing we noticed about this ale was the strange frothy pale green color of the head. It weighed in at 5% ABV, and was definitely a warm weather beer. It had a fruity nose, but a very subtle flavor, with hints of black pepper and minerals. Though it had a thick body, it had a clean, bright flavor profile. It was almost like drinking mineral water, so we decided to call it boring, but refreshing.

9. Flying Dog Old Scratch Amber Lager

This lager was our least favorite of the Flying Dog offerings. It had a 5.5% ABV, and very little nose. When we tasted it, all of us made the bad beer face…not a good sign. It had flavors of alcohol phenols and latex. Tom claimed it was “not an awesome beer.” We then set to work trying to figure out the flavor, and as we went on, the beer took on more and more characteristics of a medicine chest. Some flavors of note were Band-Aids, rubber gloves, rubbing alcohol, aloe gel for sunburns, and an inflatable pool toy. Please, do yourself a favor and avoid this amber.

10. Hell or High Watermelon Beer.

We were done with the Flying Dog variety pack and had moved on to a beer that I could not pass up due to the sheer strangeness of it. It sounded refreshing, a watermelon wheat beer, if not slightly strange, and it came in a can, weighing in at 4.9% ABV. It was another beer with a slightly green head, and it had pungent aromas of ripe watermelon and cheddar cheese. Eek. It turns out that the watermelon juice is not only fermented with the beer, but is also added in after the fermentation. It tastes like rotten juice, though I thought it was better than the previous Amber Lager. It was very clear for a wheat beer, with a pale straw color, and we figured that the rotten watermelon bits had to have been filtered out to pass FDA requirements. If a person decided to make a beer out of a peanut butter and cheese sandwich, it would have tasted similar to this. Very weird.

11. Samuel Adams Black Lager

This was the final beer of the afternoon, and was a late addition to the party, as my older bro brought it. We saved it for the end to let it cool in the fridge. It poured a medium brown color, and was noticeably not as thick as other dark beers. This beer had abundant flavors that differed greatly from the dark soy nose that presented itself. We noticed salted caramel, hot chocolate, and peanut flavors, with slight soy notes. It almost tasted like a Snickers bar, and we were glad to have finished the session with this beverage that we dubbed “The Dessert Beer.”

Thus ended an afternoon of beer and Rockband, and was followed by a viewing of the new Harry Potter movie. Just remember, any time you gather with friends to drink, discuss the beverages imbibed. You may just find that your input is shared sentiment, and in talking about what you drink, you practice The Connoisseurs code of enlightenment through superior living.