The Connoisseurs Cupcake Battle
‘Twas a couple days after Christmas and all had arrived
At the home of Jon and Liz for a cupcake surprise
With festive spirit in the air
Small cakes were served with flare
And here is the story
Of some Christmas cupcake glory
But enough with the poetry, I was never very good at it anyway. Well, at least not the rhyming kind and everyone knows that only rhyming poetry is real poetry. Let’s get to the heart of the issue before I digress anymore. The date was Christmas Two, The Revenge of Kris Kringle and the Connoisseurs had gathered for an epic battle. The theme? Cupcakes! Everyone loves cupcakes because everyone loves cake and you can eat a dozen cupcakes and no one looks at you funny – after all you just ate some small and insignificant cupcakes, it’s not like you ate an entire real cake by yourself or something.
The first cupcake to hit the judges, of which there were nine (just like the Supreme Court), was Michaels “hot chocolate” cupcake. The goal of this dessert was to have a nice firm outside and a melty delicious inside. The melty deliciousness was definitely evident; however the firmness was lacking. It was soon apparent that people needed forks or, in the case of a few judges and Connoisseurs, fingers and the strong sense of self that allows one to stuff one’s face without a care for what others think.
The second cupcake to hit was Javier’s jalapeno pepper and chocolate ganache cupcake. While a welcome change from the meltiness of the preceding delicacy this cupcake was a little too pie crusty in taste, possibly too much baking soda in the batter. The ganache was amazing – full of dark chocolaty loveliness. I have come to expect a good ganache from Javier and am proud to say that he did not disappoint. Definite props for the idea of “spicing” up the world of cupcakes.
Third on the list was Jon with his soufflé style cupcake. While some may say that Jon made a soufflé just to make use of the frilly French accent aigu on the final “e”, I think he just enjoys a challenge. Everyone knows that soufflé is difficult – or at least that’s what the French have led us to believe. Jon made mini chocolate soufflés with a white chocolate drizzle. The soufflé was definitely delicious – light, fluffy, and full of flavor. The drizzle left a little something to be desired, possible too much alcohol had been used in the sauce. Ha! Look at me saying someone used too much alcohol! But seriously folks, it was a little bitter.
Lastly came Tom with his Pink Bubblegum Frosted Skull and Crossbones Cupcakes of Doom. Or at least that’s the name I came up with – he probably refers to them as just “food stuffs”. Each cupcake was coated in a slightly sticky, bright pink frosting which tasted just like bubble gum. On top was a marzipan skull and crossbones that was both delicious and easy on the eyes. The cake itself was a little dry, but this can be forgiven. The best part, or at least so says I, was the yummy cherry filling – tart and sweet at the same time - homemade too! or so Tom says. It makes me think there’s an entire bowl of the stuff somewhere in his house, and that makes me jealous.
On comes the judging. We actually incorporated two different styles of judging for this competition, each with differing results. The first round of judging was based on four categories, each having equal weight: flavor, appearance, originality, and theme. Connoisseur Michael easily won in the flavor category, Connoisseur Tom handily trumped all contenders in the appearance category, Connoisseur Jon took originality, and the theme category was split between Connoisseurs Javier and Tom. After all these scores were added up Connoisseur Tom was declared the winner, Connoisseurs Jon and Michael tying for second and third, and Connoisseur Javier sliding into the last position. But wait – while those score were being tallied another round of judging occurred. This round asked the simple question – which cupcake did you like best? The judges graded the cupcakes in order of best to not so best and the scores were added up. According to this system Michael took first, Jon second, Tom third, and Javier fourth. Just goes to show you that flavor always trumps looks! So take it as you will, everyone came in first in something – and in the interest of the Christmas Spirit I have decided to name us all winners in the great Christmas Two Cupcake Challenge! Connoisseurs Unite!