The Blind Connoisseur Challenge: Vodka
Recently six of us got together for a blind taste test of six different vodkas; Connoisseurs Jon, Javier, and myself, alongside Jenny, Ben, and Shoenberger.
In all fairness this tasting was Shoenberger’s idea, having just put in his two-weeks notice at his dead-end job, he was in the celebrating mood and so perposed that we get a bunch of us together, each of us bringing a different bottle of vodka.
Although there were two potato (and thereby gluten-free) vodkas present, Liz was Jon’s designated driver so she officiated the event. Six rounds later, we tallied our votes and were, frankly, quite surprised by the results as Liz told us which of the vodkas we had been drinking. The results are presented here from last to first place.
Coming in at last place was Jon’s contribution; Luksusowa, a Polish potato vodka. This was a very disappointing vodka. It smells light, watery, and cheap with a certain unnatural perfume to it. As we discussed it further, we had the following discourse:
Jenny: Smells like laundry, the artificial “Fresh Summer’s Day” smell.
Jon: It’s a Febrezed vodka
Tom: Ah, a Fabrezatini
The taste is watery and a little sweet, with a confectioner’s sugar and honeydew aftertaste. Luksusowa has a gross oily texture that didn’t go away for quite a while.
In fifth place was Skyy, this was my contribution as I wanted to throw a well-known vodka on the pile. It is interesting to note that this is the only vodka we correctly identified in the blind taste test. The smell is what really gave it away, a weak mix of mineral water and rubbing alcohol. The taste is mild, clean, and slightly sweet. There is also a docile black pepper note, but that is fleeting. Skyy is nothing if not a generic vodka. This vodka completely disappears in mixers, be they tonic water, sour mix, cranberry juice, or whatever you have on hand, it doesn’t matter. To this end I quipped, “It’s good for mixing if you don’t like the taste of alcohol… ever.” What really hurt the Skyy’s rating was how completely forgettable it was.
Fourth place went to 42 Below, Jenny’s contribution… kind of… as she stole this bottle of New Zealand vodka from Ben a few weeks prior. The smell is strong, but by no means good. The nose could be best described as fresh Elmer’s Glue, not what I look for in a Vodka. The taste was vaguely like sugar cane juice, but that element was stomped upon be the harsh alcoholic flavor that permeates this vodka. I cannot recommend 42 Below.
Taking third place was Level, brought by Ben. The smell is slightly marred by a liberal punch of rubbing alcohol odor. The other big element present in the nose is olive brine which gives this vodka a smell like a pre-mixed martini. The taste, by itself, is not great. Level burns going down, not smooth at all but it does have a lot of character, a little sweet and spicy, with a very slight hint of molasses. After the shot was gone, there was a mild smell of artificial flowers in the glass. The interesting thing about Level is how well it stands up to mixers. It goes very well with any mixer we tried it with, so for those who like the taste of vodka, Level strong enough to taste over the mixer. I tried it with tonic water and it went fantastic. Javier called Level “an educational vodka”, adding “If I’m going to be drinking vodka by itself, It might as well punish me for it”
The runner-up was another potato vodka, Chopin. This bottle was brought by Javier, and it was the first potato vodka most of had experienced, although this was by no means the first time we had drank it. The smell is stimulatingly sour and alcoholic, although it is a little plasticy on the nose. The taste starts off smooth, goes to a peppery spice, then to an unbelievably clean finish. There is a richness to the flavor of Chopin that is very exciting, it fills the Liquor Connoisseur in me with hope for the future, like maybe we’re getting away from being terrified of tasting the alcohol in the cocktails we drink.
The winner of the night, to everyone’s surprise, was Smirnoff. Shoenberger brought this bottle, pretty much because its what everybody has a bottle of and he wanted to see how it stood up. The smell is light and sweet, not stringent or offensive at all. The taste is smooth, round, and complex. The foremost flavor characteristic is that of white pepper, spicy and warming. The shot leaves a lingering sweetness and is very smooth. The flavor builds over time and only the best elements of that flavor last.
We were all very surprised by the results, so much that we are considering doing blind tastings like this in the future. If you have anything you’d like to see us give the Blind Connoisseur treatment to, drop us a line in The Forum. Until next time, this is Connoisseur Tom, going blind from Vodka so you don't have to.
